hell is now sub-zero

In five days, the US electors will vote into office the next President of the United States.  Or, they will vote into office the Pussy-Grabber-Putin-Puppet of the United Soviet States. I'm sure you can imagine, I have my sphincter clenched into the shape of a crucifix, praying for divine intervention, Hail, Mary!, or just a jolly good miracle that it's the former and not the latter.   I know it's far fetched to believe that our Electoral College will vote their conscience and choose their country over the Russian mafia, but one must always hold out hope.

Today there were some real wing-dingers in the news and in the Twittersperes.  Not only is my liver slowly drowning to death, but my brain is hemorrhaging from all of my face palming.  

Our POSIC Elect did some dicktatory shit again today (something we can just expect 24/7 after 1/20 if he's sworn in).  First, he met with tech industry executives in his gold-plated pimp tower.  I'm not criticizing the meeting, actually.  If those tech folks want to sit at attention at Trump's heels, with their tongues out and paws up, so be it.  But, um...about his children being at that meeting and, um, some branding opportunities going on there...no, that ain't right.  Can you spot the dicktator dictatorshit? 

Yes, Charles, this is what dictators do.  And what opportunists do as well.  Note the Trump water on the tables (classy 🖒). 

Also, speaking of incredibly creepy, Charles, did you know that Ivanka is going to be given an office in the East Wing of the White House?  Normally, that office would go to the FLOTUS.  But, it's not.  It's going to FDOTUS, because that's normal, ya'll.  Right?

Let's just say, there was a lot of trash talk on Twitter today that I've not heard since the last time someone joked with me, "You're from the south, you know all about keeping it in the family, don't ya?"

Okay, that's as far as I'll go with that.  I have no interest in attacking Ivanka or Melania.  It's not because they're women or that I think them any less morally corrupt than the man they're married to, but they didn't ask for this very bright flashlight to be shined all up in their private, inner drawers.  And truthfully, whatever Ivanka's relationship is with her dad is none of my business.  

However, if we tax payers end up footing the bill for her to have an office in the White House all while she continues her made-in-Africa shoes and jewelry line hawking, then it does become my and every other American's business.  Wait...duh!  That doesn't apply to this new administration.  Because, dictatorship!  And hell is now sub-zero with pigs flying everywhere.  

In other news...

Oh, and...

Plus, bonus...

Let's imagine, shall we, if the alternate parallel universe, i.e. hell, that I'm living in currently were flipped...

Great idea.  I vote we shut this whole America-done-lost-its-damn-mind down now, personally.  But democrats don't fight dirty like republicans, so that's not happening.  Instead, we have to pray, wish, summons, and hold our breath that the electors will do the right thing.

With that I will leave you with Keith Olbermann.  I swear, in this crazy parallel universe, he's my brain talking.  Seriously, my brain manifested into a 50+ year old male commentator with a penchant for freaking the fuck out.  Seems fitting.

Watch this video on The Scene.